Maybe
by Vivianasaur
Summary: Toshiya has a multiple personality that only comes out when he drinks, so what happens when toshiya takes a drink from Kyo's spiked fruit punch? I'm Working on it! KaoruxToshiya Dir en Grey  Discontinued. It died out, sorry Hun.
1. the day before the night before

Toshiya always had a different side to him than what was considered normal to everyone he knew. This queer Toshiya was much more outgoing than Toshiya would actually dare to be. He usually only came out when Toshiya drank, and it always happened without Toshiya being aware. So when Dir En Grey hosted a party for their new album, Toshiya was somewhat nervous. All that he really new about drinking was that he always blacked out and woke up in bed next to a stranger, although he thought that it was the norm, he still thought it to be quite strange. Whenever Toshiya awoke from the slumber, with a throbbing headache, the males he was with, strangers to him, always said that he was acting strange compared to how he acted, mannerisms included, and tended to leave, not that Toshiya really wanted them to say. Toshiya didn't really have feelings for anyone. He only really talked to his band mates, and would be pretty much socially awkward without them, although he liked to believe that if there were some terrible twist of fate, and the band were to die, that his friends, band mates, would still be his friends. He supposed that he would be alright as long as he didn't ever drink.

Every time Dir En Grey would make a new album, they would have a celebration party, and it would be somewhat of a tradition ever since their first album came out. Toshiya often thought of what would happen if he missed one of them. When asked, Kaoru said that it would be a terrible tragedy that no one should be allowed to go through, Toshiya took it as a joke, although Kaoru had only been half joking.

The party had been set up for Kyo's apartment, because it's location was in the middle of the city, and it was the distance which all the band mates and the representatives could bare to go to, although Kaoru's would be next in line. Kaoru's apartment was located just a few blocks south of Kyo's and could be reached easily by a car.

Toshiya and Kaoru lived in the same direction from Kyo's apartment, so they usually met up. Die and Shinya did the same, since they lived off to the other direction. On the day of the party, Toshiya decided to go to Kaoru's house right before the party. He walked into the building with great care, for most of the apartment building was either asleep or hung-over . It was quite early in the morning, before eight. He treaded lightly across the hallways careful around the places in which the people would get super angry if they were to wake because of some careless visitor. Finally Toshiya reached the last apartment door of the top floor, which belonged to Kaoru Niikura, and had for a while.

Toshiya knocked softly on the door hoping not to bother or wake anyone but Kaoru. He waited patiently, leaning on the door slightly. Kaoru was not a man who should be woken up. He got so angry being woken up, that at one point, he actually strangled Daisuke, he laughed it off later, once when he went to wake Kaoru up for practice. Today however, "leader-sama" was awake. Kaoru was shaving, or getting to it. At the moment he was lathering his cheeks, chin, and upper lip with shaving cream. When he heard the soft knocks ,which barely made noise in such a large apartment, he thought of Toshiya. Toshiya had said, much more than once, that he was going to surprise him early on the day of the party, knowing well that it wasn't it wouldn't be a surprise once he told Kaoru about it.

Toshiya had a strong feeling that he would be made wait outside of the door, making him look like a 'lost kitten' Kaoru once said jokingly, and he was right. Kaoru was a man that wouldn't hurry for anyone, not even his family members or even lovers. That reason alone ended many friendships that could have blossomed into relationships that could have ended up lasting a lifetime. Toshiya unknowingly leaned back on the door rearranging his thoughts into something in which he could understand much better. First, he was pretty sure he was in love with Kaoru, Kaoru was not homosexual, and would never be. The second rearrangement was that Kaoru was a man who would take his time no matter what was going on, he was going to be waiting for a while, he knew it.

That was when the large piece of wood supporting he weight disappeared, leaving him to either pick himself up, or fall on the floor. Toshiya decided on the latter. He thought he was predestined to have a large bruise on his behind, and to be sore for a few days. Toshiya closed his eyes tightly and tucked his arms near his ribs for some protection and waited for the terrible fall to happen. The more he waited, the taller he felt. He kept falling until he was absolutely sure that he was still ,and being still while leaning in a 45 degree angle is nearly impossible.

While Toshiya was preoccupied with the thought of beating gravity, Kaoru Held him up, waiting for Toshiya to open his eyes. Kaoru felt Toshiba's biceps, and was silently pleased, at one point he had noticed that Toshiya was quite fit, but now that he was holding Toshiya in his arms, he knew that the taller man was quite toned. While the man whom was tilted at an acute angle got his train of thought going, Kaoru began thinking about Toshiya, and what he thought of him. Toshiya was a man, he was tall and played the bass guitar. Toshiya had a lot of likes and dislikes, similar to how any other person did. Daisuke had warned him about Kaoru, and how he often he lost his control and roughed up some people, although Kaoru was always kind to Toshiya.

Toshiya gingerly opened one frightened eye. He wasn't on the floor, nor was he hurt. He then noticed he was being held up by a pair of strong arms, which he guessed belonged to Kaoru Niikura.

" Kaou, I think I'm okay." Toshiya said, although Kaoru was too busy looking at the texture of Toshiya's hair, it was glossy, but not oily, and pretty.

" uh, yeah" Kaoru said, hating the feeling of being caught in the middle of his day dreaming. He looked quite flustered for his normal self. His thoughts of Toshiya weren't constant, although he enjoyed to dedicate a spare a moment or two to the bassist. Kaoru hard somewhat of a hard time letting the younger man go. He enjoyed the feeling on holding on to him, although Kaoru had to as long as he didn't want to seem suspicious. Kaoru never let himself look suspicious as to what he wanted to do, say, or even look at. He was a man of pride, and if anyone knew he wanted something, that pride would shrink down until it was the size of a pea, never a thing that he wanted. Toshiya enjoyed the fact that Kaoru held him for a few seconds before letting go, although Toshiya had a feeling that Kaoru was teasing him in some way, making him mildly and incomprehensively angry. Kaoru let him into the hallway of his home. After Toshiya took off his shoes and his coat, the two men looked around. The Apartment was quite large for one person. It had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, living room, two linen closets, and library. Much too big and lonely for Kaoru, But he kept it. The living conditions were amazing for the guitarist. The rooms were messy, Thursday was cleaning day for Kaoru, it was Wednesday, therefore, the mess of the week was strewn about the place. Toshiya saw everything, and said nothing until Kaoru grumbled something about the place being messy, Toshiya smiled and nodded. Kaoru punched Toshiya playfully on the arm, they both laughed a hearty laugh.

" Kaoru, did I wake you?" Toshiya asked sitting down on the loveseat inside the living room, but ready to move once asked, this wasn't his first time there, but no matter how much he went to Kaoru's apartment, he never felt really at home. It was probably because he always went over on Wednesdays. Toshiya promised himself that he would go on a Friday instead one day, and see the clean home for the first time.

"No, you knocked about the time I started shaving. By the way, amazing timing." Kaoru stated sitting down next to Toshiya, and turning on the mindless chatter that provided sufficient background noise to calm the uncomfortable silence. The joke eased the tension between the two, and let Toshiya slide to the back of the seat and relax.

" Isn't it? You really did need a shave, although I loved the beard that you were starting to grow out, not a beard, more like chin hair." Toshiya said, starting the conversation, which would soon lead to talking about fabric softener, and which scents they enjoyed the most. Kaoru liked cinnamon, Toshiya liked vanilla. Kaoru noted, in his head, that vanilla was quite the aphrodisiac.

Somehow, the two talked and drunk, Kaoru drank whiskey and Toshiya apple juice, for more than four hours. At around eleven, and still much too early for the party at Kyo's house, and as the two talked about it, they made jokes like "Kyo is probably still asleep" or "Kyo is probably hung over or something", Toshiya suggested watching a movie, since the two had around seven more hours of doing nothing. Kaoru agreed with him, there was almost nothing to do, but talk, listen to the mindless chatter on the television, or watch a flick on the DVD player.

Kaoru knew just the movie to watch. Toshiya had always been easy to scare, therefore, Kaoru would put on a Horror movie, and watch Toshiya cling to him. Kaoru knew he wouldn't try anything, just enjoy the feeling. He walked to his bedroom, Leaving Toshiya alone. The main hallway was only a little dusty, his socks collecting dust and dirt from the floor, that deserved a scrub down. His room was the last door to the left, across the hall was the guest room, where Toshiya once slept over when his apartment was in danger of getting moldy. The man with the coffee colored hair sighed peacefully as he walked into his own bedroom, remembering looking into the guest room as Toshiya slept. The sheets were colored a deep burgundy color, which fit accordingly to Kaoru's personality. The furniture was also a deep color, he looked at the furniture, scanning for a certain rectangular prism. He found it as he bent down to look under his bed, it was on the nightstand, in plain view. at some points in time, Kaoru doubted that he was in fact "leader-sama". He walked out to a Toshiya who was sipping from his apple juice like a child. When Toshiya saw Kaoru smiling at him, he started to drink more violently, as if he thought that a man should drink like that. He chugged his drink like a real man should, if only he hadn't spilled some of it on his shirt. That caused Kaoru to laugh. Toshiya didn't find this funny though, He was quite angered by the fact that Kaoru didn't see him as the man he was. Toshiya reeked of manliness, and that was why he accidentally spilled his apple juice.

" do you need a new shirt Totchi?" Kaoru said eying Toshiya, " your shirt is soaked." it was pretty much like saying ' I can see your nipples' but somewhat nicer and less rude. Toshiya looked down, and indeed, his shirt was soaked, he hadn't realized that so much fell out of his cup, he pouted.

" uh, yes please." he was quite careful, because as it was the living room, and it was Kaoru's home, it was carpeted floor. He was sure that He would be sticky, and that the shirt would never fit the same way again, and sighed, it was his favorite shirt. One that was plain blue, the Nintendo blue, it was one of the last ones in stock at his favorite store. Nowadays, shirts had to have some sort of design on them to be sold, Toshiya never really cared for shirts that were full of meaningless stuff. " I am so sorry. Kaou, can you let me borrow a shirt?" he nodded, " can you wash this tomorrow?" he nodded once more, and left to his room to find a shirt suitable for Totchi. He had a few t-shirts, although they were too flashy for him. He owned a few dress shirts, and he picked a nice white one for Toshiya. White looked nice on Toshiya, and Kaoru was sure that Toshiya looked amazing in long sleeved dress shirts, so he picked it out of the closet, and closed the door gingerly, because the door tended to slam.

When Kaoru came out of his bedroom, he saw Toshiya on the hardwood floor trying not to drip any apple juice to the floor. Kaoru smiled and started talking "would you like to change in the bathroom, or in front of me?" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Toshiya felt his face heat up somewhat and walked to the bathroom, located next to the guest room. Inside the bathroom, Toshiya looked at the mirror and saw that he was blushing, and that he was pretty sure that Kaoru had seen him blushing. There was a loud knock on the door, Totally confident, and the door was opened, just enough so that Kaoru's hand could fit through it, and he could slide in the shirt through the door. Toshiya grabbed it, and whispered a 'thank you' to Kaoru, and his hand left the room. Toshiya grabbed at his shirt, by now, his skin was sticky, and he was annoyed.

" Kaou!!!" he yelled frustrated by his own situation

" what?!" Kaoru yelled back, not sounding annoyed at all, which seemed extremely tolerant for Kaoru's usual antics.

" I sort of need a shower, I'm all sticky!" he had to yell that statement twice, apparently, Kaoru hadn't heard him. In reality, Kaoru recorded Toshiya's voice as he said that statement, which could be used, if in the right context, to be an extremely vulgar statement.

" I have some extra towels in the cupboard, the black one could be yours!" Kaoru yelled for one reason, he wanted to be heard, and not have to be repeating himself often. He yelled out some more instructions, where to find the soap, Shampoo, and so on. Toshiya put his boxer briefs on the top of the pile of clothes to put on after he was finished with the shower, next came pants, then the shirt. Toshiya stepped into the foreign shower, it looked quite different from what he was used to. Apart from the normal showers Toshiya took his. shower was quick, he lathered his body with the soap which smelled like Kaoru, he smiled happily and continued to lather his hair with the Kaoru scented soap. The shampoo smelled like cinnamon, and other spices. Toshiya enjoyed having Kaoru's scent on him. Happy too. The warm water did much to raise his body heat to the appropriate number in degrees. ' he should have his own perfume line, I mean, his name** is **_fragrance_' Toshiya thought vaguely.

Left alone with his thoughts, Kaoru sat down on the love seat that the two shared. He continued to make a mental countdown of what his chores would be the next day. First would be laundry, then dusting and sweeping, after that would be mopping, and finally, Kaoru's favorite, grocery shopping, 'wait', he thought, ' I forgot something'. ' Oh right! Dinner!' . His thoughts wandered to What would fill his stomach that day. He knew from experience that Kyo never served food at his parties. Those parties that began late and ended early always started with Kyo around. The two of them had more than four hours to spare, and they could always be late. The horrid thoughts of rejection tore at Kaoru's confidence, and he thought that perhaps he shouldn't suggest such an idea, so he buried his head in his cupped hands, and groaned loudly. He thought of Toshiya, and allowed himself some of what he called ' Totchi Thinking Time'. however his time was stopped short, he heard a door click open and shut. When he stretched his neck to see if he could catch a glimpse of a naked Totchi. As soon as he saw black hair, he heard a loud crack come forth from his neck, and too afraid of being caught, and being called a 'dirty homosexual Lech', he returned to normal sitting position. Acting quite suave as he took a quick sip from his cup, he was pretty much buzzed at that point, and didn't care, he was used to drinking quite a lot in the same day, plus, it lessoned his throbbing headache.

As Toshiya buttoned the last button of the shirt that Kaoru had lent him he grasped the shirt a little more tightly and yelled in the direction of the living room, hoping that the sound waves would reach so far. " uh, Kaou? Where do I put the dirty shirt?" Toshiya yelled, while Kaoru stiffened as he remembered about the voice recorder he had left laying about. He decided to be suave, as he always was, and told him to put it in the last room to the left, Toshiya had probably forgotten the layout of the home, because he hadn't been around for a long time, Kaoru was usually early and waiting for him outside before Toshiya came along to go to parties or a meeting with the record label. " oh, okay!" Toshiya called out again, lost as of to where to go. It had been quite a while since he had last seen the place, around a year; that was when he slept over for around a week. He remembered that the bathroom, which he had just left was next to the guest room, but he was lost as to which side. Next, there were three other doors which he had no clues as to what they could possibly be. He decided to proceed, blind as of to what was going to be behind the mystery door. It turned out to be a bedroom, Kaoru's bedroom. It had to be his, because the only other bedroom was somewhere across the hall, another reason, it smelled almost enticingly like Kaoru. The walls were painted a shade of purple which was made to resemble, as Toshiya thought, a plum, and all the furniture was a dark color, which didn't help cheer the room up. There were two windows on either side of the bed, a balcony in the guestroom, and the sheets were colored a deep burgundy. Toshiya was surprised to see that the room was considerably clean compared to the rest of the home. The only mess that could be found was the dirty clothes lying about in no apparent order. Toshiya decided to speak again " where exactly do I put this shirt?" he called out.

" anywhere you want, I'm cleaning tomorrow anyway!" Kaoru yelled back from the living room. Toshiya decided that on the unmade bed would be a nice place to put his favorite shirt. He imagined that if a person got the chance to look in, they would believe that Toshiya's shirt was a shirt that belonged to Kaoru's lover. Those thoughts made Toshiya warm and fuzzy inside. His eyes disobeyed orders he himself wanted to disobey, orders sent up to his brain from his pride. He saw Kaoru's boxers lying on one of the poles of Kaoru's four poster, they made Toshiya wonder who threw them up there, and why. He decided, or forced himself, to leave the room, knowing that Kaoru was probably wondering why he was taking so long. He stepped out of the room and shut the door lightly. He turned to his right and saw the entrance to the living room. Toshiya walked out to the living room and sat down next to Kaoru, Who's stomach growled quite loudly and made Toshiya smile and ask if he was hungry.

" yes, somewhat." Kaoru admitted, he looked away at the mindless chatter and tried to focus on something other than Toshiya's hair which was sticking to his neck, Kaoru wished he was Toshiya's hair.

" should we order take out or something?" Toshiya asked, he himself was quite hungry.

" I don't know, I'd rather go out or something." Kaoru said, now looking at the intricate details on his scented candles, who were sitting on the coffee table.

" What about the movie?" Toshiya asked pulling his legs up to his torso to better warm himself.

" Well, I'll get some western take out, are you okay with that?" Kaoru asked getting up and heading towards the kitchen, where the cordless phone lay stationary.

" yeah! Do I start the movie now?" Toshiya asked his hand moving towards the control. Even though the heater was on, Toshiya felt a little colder when Kaoru left the loveseat. Kaoru agreed, and Toshiya stood up somewhat shaky, his legs had fallen asleep, and inserted the disk into the DVD player, placed above the television itself so it could be seen quickly, not searched for under a forest of cables. Kaoru came back from the kitchen and sat down, Toshiya was still messing with the DVD player trying to fiddle with it so the subtitles would work. Kaoru was enjoying the view that Toshiya was leaving out for him. He smiled to himself knowing that Toshiya would never find out.

The two of them eventually got the food, to which Kaoru got quite angry, and ate it quickly, for they both hadn't eaten anything the entire day. They watched the movie, _**Christine**_, and Toshiya clung to Kaoru, grasping tightly on his arm whenever the demon car dared to attack another human. Eventually the two spent all day together until around six o'clock. Kaoru looked at his watch for the first time since two thirty, it was around six, and Toshiya was looking at the credits and the actors' weird western names.

"Totchi, It's time to leave. We're an hour late." Kaoru whispered into Toshiya's left ear. Toshiya jumped at the sudden disturbance of silence, and turned his face to look at what caused it, even though he knew it was Kaoru who spoke. When he turned his head, he saw a slightly ajar mouth. He also saw, once he moved his head, Kaoru's other features, like wonderful cheekbones.

" should we get going now?" Toshiya said, his face heating up considerably. Kaoru only nodded once he saw Toshiya's cheeks acquire a pinkish hue. The two of them got up from the sitting position they were in, Toshiya had curled his legs to under his torso, and Kaoru was sitting on the loveseat leaning back all the way. They both paused before the door to put on shoes and a jacket over flimsy shirts. Kaoru and Toshiya walked in complete silence, Toshiya was too busy thinking about the brief moment in which Kaoru's lips tickled his ear. When they reached the lobby, Kaoru asked him about the mode of transportation he would like to go to Kyo's house in. Toshiya decided on walking, it **was** rush hour after all. The two of them walked at a sluggish pace side by side, bumping shoulders every now and again. They made it to Kyo's house in twice the time they would have taken if they had walked at a normal pace. Kaoru never really did like doing anything quickly, he always took his time, and when he was asked to hurry up, he only slowed more, out of spite. Kyo's home was at one of the larger and more luxurious rooms, located on the upper half of the building, so the couple walked into the lobby, which was full of people, rushing to either get into or out of the building, and to the elevator. Luckily for the two band members, they ended up alone in the elevator. They had more than a minute to kill, Kyo's apartment was on the twenty third floor. Toshiya and Kaoru stood closer than necessary, and blamed it on the bitter winter, even though they both knew that it was quite warm in there.

" Toshi, What do you think Kyo will say about our blatent late-ness?" Kaoru asked Toshiya, who seemed to be doing nothing in particular, but Kaoru saw how his eyes were practically glued onto the door, a sign of anxiety. Toshiya shook his head and continued to look at the door, not really looking at it, just staring into space and thinking about everything in his life, and wondered about drinking alcohol. Was it really normal to black out, and never remember anything about, drinking? Toshiya decided to stay silent, he knew that he would be deemed weird if he asked anyone about it and it wasn't normal. Kaoru shook his head to himself. He was getting fed up with Toshiya, Friendly one moment and venomous the next, he decided to remain motionless though, he felt that he could, at one point, love Toshiya, and Kaoru genuinely felt that if he were to love Toshiya, Toshiya would definitely love him back.

" I think he would be happy to see us already drunk." Toshiya said sounding somewhat dazed. He didn't want to talk to Kaoru, He felt strange enough without Kaoru being there to make him get butterflies in his belly. He felt the anxiety of forgetting another night, and quite afraid of what he would do without his knowing. He had never confided to anyone about the fact that he had forgotten more than a month of his life, and no hint as of to what could have been the cause of it. Kaoru patted Toshiya's shoulder slightly, leaving his hand there slightly longer than Kyo or Shinya would have left it. Kaoru wanted to speak, so he opened his mouth to let a few words out, but the elevator beat him to it, and stopped abruptly, sounding off an obnoxious 'bing'. The two men got out of the elevator in a hurry, not wanting the tension to leave with them. They walked all the way to the end of the hall, like Kaoru, Kyo lived to the far end of the building. They could already hear the album's first song playing, the vibrations from the music were sure to annoy the neighbors, if they weren't already in Kyo's apartment partying. Kaoru grabbed Toshiya's wrist lightly and steered him towards the entrance to the party where the two of them would have to sign some autographs and take pictures, only a few compared to what they usually had to do. Their knocks on the door weren't something audible compared to the booming music. Luckily, Daisuke was near the door, and gladly opened the offending piece of wood for the missing band mates. The apartment was extraordinarily large for what one would expect from an apartment. There was a gratuitous amount of space which Kyo would never want to talk about, he had always thought that good things were taken away when talked too much about, so he never talked about a myriad of things. Kaoru let go of Toshiya's wrist when they were let inside, as if to not embarrass either of them. Kaoru walked straight to Kyo and announced to the slightly drunken man about his, and Toshiya's, attendance to the marvelous party, Kyo smiled and told Kaoru a dirty joke about sodomy and punched him playfully in the arm. Kaoru smiled at the joke. He walked to a table which held many refreshments, such as fruit punch , pretzels, crackers, chips, and other edible objects.

Kaoru got himself a cup of the fruit punch, and detected a strange taste, nothing like fruits. He knew that he would soon have to ask Kyo about it's contents. At the moment, Toshiya was talking to a girl, a fan most likely, and flicking his wrist, most likely in synch to something that he just said, the girl let out a shriek trill, and he knew that it was supposed to be a laugh, but it was just too weird. Kaoru tried to ignore the taste of bile rising to his throat, and looked away in disgust. Toshiya was just too much at times, quite annoying too. He looked around the place, people talking everywhere, quite a surprise to him because the music was so loud he couldn't hear himself think, and only a couple of people were dancing. He walked over to where Kyo was talking to men of the record company and asked to talk to Kyo in private.

" what's in the drinks Kyo?'

" What do you think?"

" fruits, punches, and a secret ingredient?"

" fruit punch and all the alcohol in my cabinets, isn't that the usual at my parties?" Kyo asked, and Kaoru nodded. He excused himself from the crowd of people now forming around him and Kyo, mostly girls, and took his place sitting down on a chair until something interesting happened. Eventually, something did. Kaoru barely noticed it, and neither would anyone else. Toshiya was sipping from a glass of red colored liquid, while smiling delicately.


	2. the morning after!

chapter two is up! it's shorter than I wanted it to be.. I hope that this chapter is content in the hearts of my readers, Please, don't be shy, Review!

I'm working on the third chapter, but alas, between gifted, pre-AP, classes and marching band practice, I barely have time to write, and when I do, it's for a new story.

It'll be ShikaKiba, for my friend's birthday, and I will be in need of some inspiration. other than that, please proceed in reading this really short chapter, I'm afraid that this story is going to end up in the garbage. So, don't get attached so quickly. I'm probably just going to finish this off.

* * *

For the first time in quite a few hours, Toshiya felt the increasingly warm rays of sun on his face, he saw the fleshy red that was the inside of his eyelid also. His eyelashes where sticking together from sleep and pupils were still, most probably, dilated from the dark, so he didn't try to open them. Toshiya felt the throbbing headache he had acquired at some point in the last few minutes that he was conscious, and his whole body was sore. Toshiya began to wonder about where he was, and how he got there, although a part of him knew that he wouldn't want to know. His torso shivered slightly, he noticed that his arms weren't next to him as they usually would be, his legs were also in a queer position. Toshiya opened his eyes and saw blurry light, it stung his eyes. He saw dark purple walls and part of a dark four poster, immediately knew whose home it was, and his mind snapped awake at the realization; He had slept with Kaoru, or at least slept in his bed. Frightened of what could have happened, toshiya pulled his arms and legs from their current position, stretched out, and found that he couldn't. Toshiya always had somewhat more self control than everyone in the band. He was lucky he had so much self control too, or else he would have screamed the moment he found out that he was chained to the bed in that position.

Toshiya, being the critical thinker he was, decided to look at his surroundings. The sunlight illuminated the room, therefore the windows were open, Toshiya deduced that much. He also found out, by simply looking around, that Kaoru must have been awake for a while, because the room was spotless, except for the bed's comforter lying on the floor next to the bed. Toshiya knew that he was lacking clothing, he just didn't know where they could possibly be. The thought of Kaoru bursting into the room at anytime frightened him greatly, It was quite embarrassing. Trapped in Kaoru's room naked while Kaoru was somewhere around the apartment, Toshiya's thoughts drifted to happened the night before, just what exactly happened?

* * *

Soon after getting to Kyo's party Toshiya was practically forced to be the drink free host while Kyo was somewhat intoxicated, plus he was talking to the men from the record label, and talked to all the fans, mostly women. After around thirty minutes of talking, anyone would be thirsty, the nearest fan, an obnoxiously loud girl, got some fruit punch for him, he had to smile and thank her politely. One cup of fruit punch turned into two, and two to four. Soon enough, Toshiya was almost as smashed as the rest of the band, and his personality seemed to do a 180.

" Kaou! I love joooouuu!" Toshiya shrieked from across the room, Kaoru wasn't at all freaked out by the outburst, in fact he expected it and played it off as if it was fan service. Kaoru walked towards the parting crowd and wrapped his arm around Toshiya's waist, Toshiya smiled brightly and laughed when he tripped over himself. The fans knew that Kaoru was joking, and Kaoru knew that he was joking, Toshiya, being the drunken idiot that he was, thought that the actions that took place were Kaoru and the fans being serious. " Kaou! Tell me you love me!" Toshiya whispered loudly into Kaoru's ear, Loud enough for the fans to hear.

" Later Totchi," Kaoru joked, when the fans gawked at him, Kaoru felt increasingly uncomfortable holding Toshiya's waist, it was too weird. Toshiya's mood suddenly switched from playful to something dark and lustful. He wrapped his arms around Kaoru's shoulders and kissed his cheek, something that made the fans go wild and Kaoru blush. " Toshiya, that's taking it a little too far…" Kaoru whispered into Toshiya's ear, using a soft voice to make sure that the fans wouldn't hear. Toshiya shook his head and kissed Kaoru's cheek again, this time the proximity was much closer to Kaoru's lips. To the fans it seemed like Kaoru was whispering sweet nothings into Toshiya's ear, encouraging him to kiss him. The fans shrieked again, Kaoru started to walk away, but Toshiya's hold on his shoulders stopped him. Normally, Kaoru didn't take crap from anyone, especially his friends, when Kaoru said " stop", he meant stop. The only thing making Kaoru unable to punch Toshiya was the emotion synonymous to love he felt for him. Kaoru sighed deeply and turned around to have toshiya kiss him square on the lips, as the fan girls went wild. Toshiya, if he was the real Toshiya, would have been aghast at even suggesting that action, and now, he was doing it. Kaoru was dumbstruck; His brain wasn't functioning at the normal pace that anyone's would, He wasn't sure which pace it was going himself. Kaoru decided to take action and pulled away from a still-puckering-his-lips toshiya and pulled him into the bathroom, which was isolated.

* * *

" what the hell was that toshiya?" Kaoru yelled once they were sure they were isolated.

" what the hell was what?" Toshiya asked, placing his index finger on his cheek, his mouth opened and puckered to make an 'o', all together this looked quite innocent and coy.

" the ki- Goddamnit Toshiya! You know what the hell I'm talking about!" Kaoru was about to fall into the trap of explaining what Toshiya clearly already knew, figuring out this trap Kaoru was beginning to get quite irritated.

" you mean this?" Toshiya said, leaning in for another kiss, Kaoru moved away, and cussed at him.

" don't you like me Kaou?" Toshiya said making an obnoxious 'cute' voice. Kaoru looked at him in confusion, Toshiya never acted this way, 'it's probably the alcohol', he thought ' I mean, Toshiya was always shy, maybe he's coming out of his shell.' While lost in his thoughts, Kaoru failed to notice Toshiya move towards him slowly, even though he was in plain sight, and kiss him softly on the lips. Kaoru pushed Toshiya away from him, quite flabbergasted and angry. No one kisses Kaoru Niikura without Kaoru Niikura's permission.

" Toshiya, why are you doing this?" Kaoru yelled quite angrily.

" I looove you Kaou, that's why" Toshiya said grabbing on to Kaoru again, most likely to keep from falling down.

" you don't." Kaoru said plainly, his aura seemed dark before, now it was deadly. Toshiya looked at Kaoru dead in the eyes, and repeated the three words that Kaoru didn't believe the first few times said. That time, in the bathroom, Kaoru believed Toshiya, and kissed him.

* * *

Toshiya sighed when memories failed to play in proper sequence for him. He couldn't understand how memories from just a few hours ago couldn't come to his brain. He felt like pulling out his hair, if only he could use his hands, anything but his torso lay useless tied by chain to the four poster bed. He dreaded the point in time when Kaoru would have to walk in and see him naked and in such a vulnerable position. He remembered everything up to the point where he was talking to a fan girl. At which point something happened, something that Toshiya couldn't quite place his finger on. Toshiya thought about the night and how he spent it, and came up with a blank also. 'It's a conundrum' , he thought.

* * *

Kaoru rummaged through the laundry, he had left it for last, like an idiot, and was now stuck surveying the cooking food and checking the washing machine and dryer for his ,and Toshiya's from yesterday, clothes. The wash was quite annoying for Kaoru, that's why he always planned it to be first, and always left it for last, being the procrastinator he was. Last night was something that Kaoru was quite busy thinking about. He and Toshiya had slept together, and Toshiya was a completely different man, much more outgoing than he normally would be. Also, Toshiya would have never done anything like that if he had been sober, it was something that made Kaoru quite angry, terrified, and sad and everyone knows that a conflicted Kaoru is a dangerous Kaoru. He wondered about Toshiya, and if he was awake at the moment, something which he was sure of. It was past noon and Kaoru left the windows unblocked by the curtains, the light would hit Toshiya and he would wake up. Kaoru was, at the moment, contemplating opening the door and talking some sense into Toshiya. Kaoru remembered how Toshiya was calling out his name and got shivers. Kaoru refused to fall into temptation and go into his own room, instead he continued to look over the constantly moving clothes and water. It annoyed Kaoru, how Toshiya acted so strangely, and even so, Kaoru was feeling the attraction he for the regular Toshiya for this queer Toshiya too. Kaoru checked his watch and decided that at two o'clock he would release Toshiya from his bindings and talk to him, at the moment he would play coy to the existence of a hung over and naked Toshiya in his bedroom.

* * *

When Kaoru kissed Toshiya, his brain stalled. His entire body tensed and froze. Toshiya however wrapped his arms around Kaoru's neck, hands entangling in Kaoru's dark hair. Kaoru felt shocks of electricity shoot up his spine, Toshiya tasted like fruits and alcohol, and a hint of something else, something Kaoru couldn't find a place for in his brain. his hands, which were stationary at his side, decided to grab hold of him. Kaoru then decided to push Toshiya to the nearest sturdy object to regain balance, which just happened to be the sink, and began to kiss him almost ferociously. The sensation of being pushed up against the sink wasn't quite comfortable, however being with Kaoru had a calming effect on him, so Toshiya tried not to think awfully hard on it. His thoughts however, betrayed him; he kept thinking about substituting the sink's faucet with something currently residing in Kaoru's pants. Kaoru's hands moved from Toshiya's hips to his backside. Toshiya's first reaction was to gasp at the sudden change of weight distribution, and it was Kaoru's instinct to stick his tongue down Toshiya's throat. Kaoru smiled when Toshiya's tongue played along with his own, trying to invade the older man's mouth. The war was waged and lost by Toshiya, Kaoru took his victory and decided to explore Toshiya's mouth.

* * *

Minutes passed by quite slowly for the two of them. It was something like traveling at light speed, the two of them remained impervious to anything that would affect them normally. Kaoru, who was the only one in the room who was thinking properly at the moment, decided to stop the current actions taking place to think. First of all, they were in the bathroom of Kyo's apartment, anyone could walk in. Secondly, Toshiya wasn't thinking clearly. It just made too much sense to stop the foolishness that Toshiya had unknowingly started with a sip of deadly venom that isn't so venomous. Kaoru panted as if to catch his breath and when he stole a glimpse of Toshiya, whose chest was also heaving up and down with each breath, his anger for leaving the dark haired specimen was rising quite rapidly. Toshiya looked at Kaoru with a feverish look, his rosy lips were parted and, as it seemed to Kaoru, anticipating a kiss. Kaoru, however, looked at his pants instead of taking any chances with Toshiya.

" Kaou…Why'd you stop?" Toshiya said, his voice dripping with false innocence.

"I was enjoying what you were doing, Kaou."

" we're in Kyo's bathroom, and your drunk." Kaoru said, and wondered if anyone was aware of the fact that Toshi and Kaou had disappeared.

" I'm not druuuunk!" Toshiya said and wrapped his arms around Kaoru's neck and kissed his cheek. " so what if we're in Kyo's bathroom? I want to show my love for you Kaou!"

" I'm taking you home, and you're going to sleep off the alcohol. You may love me, but you're drunk as hell and not available to elaborate, and I'm sure as hell that I'm not going to take advantage of you." Kaoru pulled Toshiya's arms off of him and walked him out of the bathroom and ,to the displeasure of the fan girls, out of the apartment. The hall was crowded with people who wanted to get into the apartment, although no one important ever waited. The walk was somewhat embarrassing for Toshiya, although he was too busy trying to loosen the grip on his wrist to notice the many stares burning holes onto the back of his head. The trip back was significantly more time consuming without Toshiya's cooperation, but Kaoru didn't seem to mind. Toshiya wrapped both of his arms around Kaoru's neck, effectively tripping himself. Kaoru sighed and lifted the taller man into his arms, bridal style, and walked the rest of the way to his apartment. Toshiya laid his head on Kaoru's shoulder and hummed his part of Dir En Grey's newest song. Kaoru sighed as he walked into the elevator with the drunk bassist, and pushed the appropriate button. The elevator ride was actually quite short, Toshiya had actually stayed put in Kaoru's arms and decided not to talk or to do anything stupid. The walk to his apartment door however, was quite aggravating for the lead guitarist. Toshiya started to fidget and began to whisper vulgar things into Kaoru's ear.

* * *

The clock struck one and Kaoru sighed as he took the darks out of the washing machine and loaded them into the dryer. The self invoked waiting period was passing by slowly, He wondered about the bassist's thoughts on the ordeal; was he embarrassed? Ashamed? Proud?

Kaoru shook his head and continued to watch the clothes spin inside the washing machine's drum. His thoughts drifted to the night before again.

* * *

His hands shook as he attempted to push the key into the lock, anyone's would if they were trying to convince a drunk man, and very attractive, man NOT to have sex with him. Kaoru was really trying to avoid any eye contact with the younger man, but it was going to kill him if Toshiya kept purring, slurred, sweet nothings into his ear. Kaoru's pants were also much too tight for him at the moment, in the end he'd soon have to " finish" that. Finally the key fit into the lock, Kaoru thanked the gods in his head, he turned that sick bastard and opened his door.

* * *

Toshiya wondered what the time was, he wondered why the hell Kaoru wasn't in the room yet, and most of all, he wanted ANSWERS.

* * *

at the moment, that is all, Please be ready for more to read.


End file.
